


how we feel; doesn't matter

by usagiseme



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Highschool AU, Incest Mention, Kisses, Kylux - Freeform, M/M, Makeouts, Other, Roomates, Slow Burn, incest rumors, kind of, petty bitches au, underage mention, underage rumor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-26
Updated: 2017-04-26
Packaged: 2018-10-24 10:48:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10740174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/usagiseme/pseuds/usagiseme
Summary: this was sitting in my drafts, and it's 12 pages long :II never write that much, enjoy!





	how we feel; doesn't matter

There were very few things that Hux actually enjoyed doing in High School. One was playing viola, some of the others were more revenge based, and the last thing was making sure that people that didn’t give him the respect he deserved, in turn, got what was coming to them. Recently Hux had been focusing the majority of his efforts on practicing viola so that he could get into a good music program at the school he was going to. Which made people think that ole’ Hux was getting a little softer as his Senior year progressed. He was absolutely not. He was so much focused on his viola solos and writing college applications and essays that he wasn’t focused on the fact that the major school dance, that he would have to attend with a girl, as his father had instructed, was rapidly approaching. 

 

Hux had reserved a practice room on the 3rd floor music department at his school, the one most out of the way, which was ideal for practicing and doing homework late into the night since no one made him leave after his time period was up. As he climbed the steps he felt light, his favorite solo was almost perfect and the colleges that he’d applied to were slowly starting to respond with hopeful tour brochures and calls from excited admissions officers. Everything was starting to become a little bit better for Hux, just slightly. Until he reached the top of the 4th landing of stairs. There was music. That wouldn’t usually be an issue if Hux was 10 minutes early or trying to kick someone out of  _ his _ practice room to be able to get on with his day. But there was absolutely no one signed up and he was even a few minutes late. The peculiar music wasn’t coming from a string instrument either, some type of bass or baritone wind instrument. It had to be a baritone actually, Hux mused, the type of music they were playing was definitely not anything of any important part of the score. Hux hesitated before knocked sharply on the heavy door. The music paused for a moment before proceeding again, a bit louder, Hux thought. He knocked rapidly on the door again. There was a shuffle of a chair against the floor and a groan or sigh of some type before the door swung effortlessly open. Hux had fortunately stepped back to avoid the oncoming door and in doing so tripped over his own feet and landed less-than-gracefully on the floor in front of whoever was using the practice room. The person, someone he’d seen before but never interacted with, didn’t make a move to help him up. In fact the tall brunet just stood there looking bored and slightly annoyed at Hux until he eventually composed himself and stood up.

 

“You’re using my practice room,” Hux said as matter-as-factly as he could while dusting himself off.

“ _ Your _ practice room?” There was a pause from Hux, he was shocked, that anyone, much less  _ someone in band _ would ever talk to him like that,

“Yes,  _ my _ practice room, it was reserved by me for this hour,” he looked sternly at the taller man,”for this day, as it is everyday at this hour,” the other man snorted at this,

“Ohh so your Mr. Armie Hux,” he said this with a smug grin, obviously trying to get some type of reaction from Hux, which Hux provided quite willingly since while it was his week, his day had definitely not been as good as he would have wanted it to be.

“Yes. I’m Hux, you can address me by my last name if you must address me in any way at all, honestly I would have figured someone that plays baritone  _ anything _ would have a little more respect for someone that plays actual real music, which, by the way, is something with more than two notes,” he took a breath which the brunet found would make a good time to interject,

 

“Since when was whatever crap you play in orchestra considered real music,” Hux snorted and crossed his arms, was this really happening right now,

“Well, last time I checked Beethoven was real music and My Chemical Romance isn’t even close to whatever people consider pop music these days,”

“Wow, you got me, because I totally pick the music for the band and it’s not the teacher or anything wow,” Hux pinched the bridge of his nose, this wasn’t happening right now,

“Look, I really don’t care, and I’d appreciate it if you would get out of my practice room,”

“Go talk to the help desk on the basement level, because I’m pretty sure I signed up for this room today, at this time, which I do sometimes,” 

 

Hux was confused, this was his room, he was the only person that signed up for it except for a few freshmen, who were too embarrassed to play where people might hear them. He opened his mouth, but he hesitated, could it be that he hadn’t signed up for the room for this hour? No, impossible. He shut his mouth quickly and glared at the indignant person standing in the threshold of the door. Hux finally sighed and started walking away. Muttering to himself about how he really didn’t need this right now.

  
  


The next day Hux came in early to request that room for the rest of the month for his usual time, but when he went to sign up there was a different name in his slots. The name sounded like any average dumbass in bands name, it was Ben O.S. which Hux felt was a little over the top. He asked if he would be able to change with this fellow, the person at the desk said that if he could bring Ben here and change with both of them present, then yes. He left, not quite defeated yet.

 

That night he went back to the dorms, instead of trying to see if this Ben character was really using his practice room for  _ like five weeks _ . The dorms were ok, ok  lighting, ok heating, ok most things. But hux preferred studying up in the practice room where he could relax and think about things that he actually needed to think about instead of plotting how he was going to get back at Ben for ruining his decent schedule. 

 

Half way through the night there was a soft knock on his door. Which was unusual, since he wasn’t in one of the dorm rooms that has a second bed, and he was a perfectly quiet and reasonable student. He got up anyways and opened the door a crack. It was someone blond. He opened the door a bit more, to reveal the captain of the soccer team. She was 6 foot something and stronger than about everyone else on campus. And she was here. Why was she here.

 

“Hey, Hux,” she sounded calm and relaxed, he had interacted with Phasma a few times before, but she was usually drawn towards more openly aggressive people.

“Hello Phasma, what’s this about?” She looked back and forth before asking to step inside, Hux agreed. 

 

“Ok, Hux, I know you’re a reasonable person,” Hux was confused,”and I know you don’t have a date to the dance, because I asked Mitaka and he said that you were focusing on writing college essays instead of social events, but,” She stopped talking, she looked worried, probably for the first time in front of someone, and looked in a very concerned manner at Hux. “Oh, No! I’m not asking you to the dance, well, not in a dating way, I mean I’m gay,” Hux was relieved, practically sighing, “and I know that you’re gay because, well...” Hux had become very rigid at the mention of his apparently not so secret sexuality.

 

“...Well?” Hux’s words would have cut anyone else, if it hadn’t been someone of such strong composure.

 

“Well, I just figured you were gay,” Hux became very red in the face, his pale complexion failing to keep his embarrassment hidden.

“Oh. ok.” Hux would have pushed her out the door if she was anyone else,

“That’s why I want to go to the dance with you, my mom knows your mom and they’ll be thrilled to find out that they’re suspicions about our non-straightness aren’t true,” Hux hesitantly agreed and Phasma left with an air of satisfaction.

 

***

 

There was little time after the short ginger had left, for Ben to run down to the help desk and take up all the time slots before making his way out of the music hall. Phase one complete.

 

***

 

Morning classes weren’t anybody’s favorite, but they were sure as fuck a perfect opportunity for Ben to start phase two of his plan. Armitage sat three seats in front of Ben and two seats to the left. Which was the perfect position to glare at the back of Armitage’s head and plot his how to go about his next phase. The next part of his plan was to ruin Hux’s social life, which, to be fair, wouldn’t be very hard. As to the fact the Hux had ruined his own social life a long time ago. Or, at least, Ben figured that he had, since he had almost no people that would even tolerate his existence. Except for that little freak Mitaka, with his short black hair and eager to please attitude. Ben hated him. Ben hated everyone.

 

***

 

Hux was trying to make it clear to everyone that he was still dangerous. Still ready to attack at any moment. His first period class was math, which was easy, considering that he HAD to take a math class this year. Even though he had already taken all the college math credits he needed for a four year degree, the high school still required him to take the highest math classes they could put him in.

 

It was hard enough that he had to be stuck in this room full of people far below his intelligence level, but the teacher would also condescend to him whenever he tried to answer any of the questions people had. It was right out awful. He felt something bounce off of the back of the head, which drew his attention back into the real world. He looked behind him and there was no evidence on the faces of anyone behind him, he looked to the ground where the small crumpled piece of paper landed. He looked towards the teacher and made sure he wasn’t paying attention before picking it up. The message on the paper was written by someone with rather atrocious penmanship. But the message was clear, “I heard someone say you sucked the Vice Principal’s dick, tru or nah?” Hux felt all of the color drain from his face, this was the weirdest thing that has happened to him in high school so far. And he’d blackmailed the entire football team at one point. 

 

Whatever kind of rumor this was, it had spread to nearly the entire school (sans the teachers) by lunch time. Nobody really believed it, but honestly having something like this spread about Hux was refreshing. Usually it was Hux spreading rumors(facts) about people if they crossed him.

 

Hux sat where he usually did for lunch, with the other ASB council members. Which included dopheld, phasma, and a few others Hux didn’t know on a first name basis. Though none of them said anything, he could tell that they knew too. He was just hoping that none of them believed it, it was so ridiculous an accusation. Hux was genuinely surprised that people believed it and the very fact that people at is high school did, made Hux’s faith in humanity drop below the critical levels. Nobody talked to him all day, which he would usually consider a good thing, except for instead of trying to talk to him they were whispering and staring at him. 

 

He didn’t even try to go to the practice room after class, he went straight to his dorm room and flopped onto the bed. He was so exhausted from holding himself especially tall and aggressive today that he couldn’t even study tonight, he just needed rest. He was about to fall asleep in his uniform but he heard something on the spare bed. He turned his head, expecting nothing in particular, and especially not expecting what he saw next.

 

It was Ben. Ben was sitting on the spare bed, which didn’t look like a spare bed anymore. It looked like a real person bed, it had sheets and pillows and blankets. And a person, sitting on it. A person, which until recently, Hux had no opinion on. But now here he was not only ruining his after school schedule but also ruining his sleep schedule.

The brunette was pointedly not paying any attention to Hux and his intense glare as he tried to kill Ben with his thoughts alone. Ben eventually looked up from reading a book to acknowledge the shorter person, who was overflowing with rage at this point. Ben knew he was, the air was too tense for him not to be, but Hux didn’t show anything besides an icy glare and a pinkness in his cheeks. Ben sighed and turned to face Hux.

 

“My other roommate requested a change, and apparently you’re the only person in the Senior dorms to not have a roommate,” Ben looked genuinely frustrated that he had to share a room with Hux and that it was also a minor inconvenience. Hux tried to believe he could see right through it, that this was on purpose, that this childish person, was actually in an unfavorable situation. 

 

Hux eventually broke eye contact and faced the wall trying to put everything in the back of his mind. This was too much, if he didn’t get want he wanted soon, he was absolutely going to explode. Ben shifted and continued reading. Hux needed some kind of stability, and maybe blackmailing Ben into leaving him alone and giving him his practice room back would be just perfect.

 

***

 

Ben had requested the room change. He had asked Mitaka which dorm room was Armitage’s and he requested the change. His old roommate wasn’t around much, he usually spent the majority of the time hanging out with his soccer buddies and didn’t really care much about Ben. So the change wasn’t going to be huge, the move was fast enough, the staff in the dorm offices helped him move his things and he set up his bed and desk before Hux was back from the extended Honors Chemistry study session after school.

 

This was phase three. Break down his emotional barriers to make him more susceptible and responsive to external negative stimulation. It was perfect. Hux would start to slip in his grades, hopefully he wouldn’t be able to get a date to the dance which would ruin his social standing in school, and he would have an extreme mental breakdown before the summer classes started. Ben was so ready for all of this to happen, his friends were right, revenge was best served cold.

 

***

 

The next day when Hux woke up, he had forgotten all about his unfortunate roommate. But he was reminded of him soon enough when he tried to use the tiny personal restroom, but found it locked. He groaned and tried to not make this into a big deal, but honestly.

 

“GET OUT OF MY BATHROOM BEN!” there was a outburst of laughter before the door opened a tiny bit and Ben peaked out from behind the crack.

 

“No, I’m brushing my teeth, and getting dressed, you don’t want me to come out there NAKED would you?” Hux pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to count down backwards from 10. He turned around quickly and left with all his toiletries he could grab in 3 seconds. He went to the communal bathroom, which wasn’t awful. He got dressed, brushed his teeth and hair, and used the restroom before returning to his room to grab his knapsack and books. Ben was sprawled out on his bed when Hux returned. He was wearing his uniform, not properly, and was flipping through some type of music magazine. He didn’t even look up when Hux entered. Ben seemed too interested in the latest hits to care. Hux didn’t give Ben any parting words before he left.

 

***

 

After a few minutes of waiting Ben got up and started going through all of Hux’s stuff. Trying to find dirt. After twenty minutes of throwing Hux’s clothes and papers all over the place he decided that there probably wasn’t going to be anything good and gave up and went to class.

 

***

 

Hux was struggling to stay awake during his morning classes, he was unable to make it to the staff workroom anytime before lunch to get a cup of coffee. There were a lot of idiots in his classes and the rumor spread about him still hadn’t died down. He could feel the whispers and glances as if they were physically touching him or bumping him.

 

In third hour Mitaka sat next to Hux, which he did frequently, but he had a nervous air about him today. Mitaka talked in a hushed and hurried voice.

 

“I think the person who started the rumor about you is another Senior, his name is Ben Solo, he’s got a few classes with you, but I don’t think he has any personal grudges against you,” Hux pretended to not hear, but when the teacher turned back to face the board he replied in a similar tone,

 

“Can you get me something to blackmail him by the end of the day?” Mitaka paused for a moment pretending to pay attention then he gave a little nod when Hux glanced at him again.

 

Perfect. Hux was ecstatic, he was so glad that the people he chose to surround himself with were efficient and similarly minded, or easily persuaded.

 

The day passed by slowly, Mitaka wasn’t at lunch and he seemed to be busy talking to students during any breaks he had. Hux was glad that he was working hard helping him out, he’d have to do something for him at some point. Maybe he’d actually respond when Mitaka texted him.

 

***

 

Ben’s day was going exponentially better than the previous days, everything was falling into place and soon Armitage would be ruined. Ben wasn’t particularly planning any type of date to the dance himself, but he knew it would crush perfect little Armitage’s schedule and expected control over the whole situation.

 

As he was making his way up to the practice room he noticed someone’s footsteps behind him. He didn’t acknowledge them until the other person was next to him at the practice room door. Ben turned and faced the other. It was Armitage. He looked nervous, Ben hadn’t seen him in a few days 

 

The first words out of Armitage’s mouth were widely unexpected due to his nature and personality, he almost looked nervous when he said it.

 

“I’m sorry,” it was hurried and his ears and cheeks turned pink, he was looking from Ben to the ground and back to Ben. the brunette decided to play dumb.

 

“Oh, Armie, I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said it complete with a quizzical look and head tilt. Ben had decided a long time ago that this fucker wasn’t going to get off easy for what he’d done to him.

 

The look that Hux gave him next was straight up murderous and Ben did everything in his power to not smirk. Hux got closer to Ben, definitely in his personal space but not close enough to do much damage, and he practically spat out the next few words through gritted teeth,

 

“I am, very. Sorry. That I spread the rumor. About you fucking your cousin.” Ben narrowed his eyes, and stood up straighter. Apparently nobody was going to back down at this point and Hux crossed his arms and planted his feet firmly. Ben had his hands protectively over his bass-what-cha-mc-fuck-it and clenched his jaw.

 

***

 

Whatever Hux was expecting to get out of apologizing to Ben, I wasn’t a rushed makeout session in the practice hall. Which honest to god was more biting than anything else, Ben was strong, which he made good use of. He had grabbed Armitage by the shoulders and pushed him harm into the wood door, which swung lazily open when Ben turned the handle. They were on each other a split second after the door was locked. It was very mutual which given Hux’s mental state he wasn’t exactly surprised about. But the way that Ben kept biting and grabbing and heavily sucking on him was welcomed.

 

The fact that Ben had done all of this to get under his skin after something that happened over 3 years ago, made Hux completely and utterly impressed. This was the level of petty that he had sometimes and seeing it reflected in someone who was more-or-less his type was extremely lucky. He almost sunk into Ben’s touch when he’d pushed them both into the practice room. He had to keep acting annoyed for a bit longer so that he could string Ben into thinking he wasn’t forgiven just for giving him something to think about next time he was in the shower. 

 

After Ben had marked Hux’s neck a few times and they were both heavily panting, Ben got up and left Hux a rather confused mess sitting, practically a puddle, in one of the practice rooms chairs. He took a few minutes to regain his wits and evaluated what had just happened.

 

When he went back to the dorm after dinner, Ben was not there. Somewhere Hux felt a bit disappointed to not have a repeat of what happened in the practice room building. But he was also VERY relieved because then he could finish studying for his biology exam. 

 

Ben didn’t come back to the dorm for a few days, or at least, not when the other boy was there. Hux was becoming impatient with this flaky behavior, and wished that maybe the vice-principal rumor had stayed around a little longer so that he would have something to focus on rather than the advanced breeding of show ducks. He figured that after the... _ incident _ ...that Ben had tried to do some bandaging of the situation.

In reality, when Hux was called into the principal’s office the next morning he was genuinely surprised. There was the counselor for senior students as well as an official looking officer and probably a title IX lawyer or something. 

 

The air was very serious. They asked him all sorts of questions and Hux answered them honestly. Was he have relations with the VP, had he ever been “penetrated” (their word, not his) either orally or “vague hand gesture” by the VP, had he ever been approached for sexual favors from any of the staff, etc. . 

 

There was a short time period where Hux even thought that the vice principal would get imprisoned for the rumor. Hux never said that it was Ben who started it, Mitaka would stay quiet too, as long as Hux did. And after a rather embarrassing and uninformative mandatory school assembly. It was settled, no one ever whispered at him about it ever again.

 

Ben had even returned to Hux’s presence the day of the assembly even. Not giving any sign that he had anything to do with this. Smart. 

 

***

 

After the kissing session, biting session? Ben was interested, more than he cared to admit. As soon as the situation with the rumor had settled down, he settled back down into Hux’s personal space. Which was met with a pleasant non-objection. Hux seemed uninterested with Ben now that he had his practice room and his composer back.

 

Well, Ben supposed, that the plan had not only failed spectacularly but also hilariously. But now that it had he expected his small interested with Armitage’s life would dissipate, since, after the event he had almost fully forgiven him for saying that Him and Rey were sleeping together in freshman year. 

 

Everyone knew that they were close, but that was because of his and Rey’s complicated family situation. Her father had skipped town as soon as she was three and she was unceremoniously dumped from foster home to foster home until Ben’s mother was able to adopt her. More than once, when they were still young enough to share a room, Ben had comforted a very distraught and screaming Rey when she woke in the night from a terror. And he was protective of her, even though she could hold her own in a fight since before Ben could and was quite witty, Ben had always been the one to intervene her bullies before they reached her. Usually threatening them away, no harm done to either party. Sometimes it would get physical, the opposing parties would rough it out and then when the blame tried to get pinned on Ben, Rey was always smart enough and fast enough to come up with a perfect cover. They looked out for each other. 

 

Which a particular bitchy someone had noticed and smeared across the student body as some type of weird incesty relationship. Ben didn’t realize how weirdly close they were until they found their own set of friends and grew a little farther apart, he supposed from an outsider’s perspective maybe at the right angle it could look like that? But never had they ever done more than fight for each other until they grew a bit apart, they didn’t even hug after the night terrors stopped. Just they would hover around each other warily trying to make sure the other didn’t ruin their mother’s name.

 

Hux on the other hand was ruthless, he never targeted Rey, but after Ben had said something a little too incriminating towards Hux. He took matters into to his own hands, he realizes now that they were hardly smart enough to trick others into actually believing their bluffs.

 

It was probably unreasonable to keep this against Armitage this long, especially since recently Ben realized he wanted something more than the ginger’s mental downfall.

 

***

 

Ben had gotten up and informed Hux that he was meeting with some other seniors for a group project. Hux acknowledged him and wished him luck. To which Ben offered a noncommittal grunt.

 

After a short ten minute period, Hux got up and locked the door, which would offer him some kind of warning if Benjamin came back faster than anticipated.

 

He started by pawing at himself through his underwear and imagining some clips from the last college party he went to. Shortly after he was fully hard he tried imagining something more realistic or at least graphic so that he could finish up and take a shower. What came to mind was Ben giving him head and he finished shortly after imagining Ben taking all of him in his mouth and loosely remembering the sensation of someone else touching him like that. It wasn’t particularly loud, but it was messier than Armitage had anticipated. 

 

The shower was  nice and completed the bliss-like feeling he was floating through in the small afterglow he had. 

 

The ginger wasn’t particularly committed to doing anything that night, but the next night was Saturday, the day of the big debutante ball. His tux was at the cleaner’s and he supposed he should pick up a bow tie that matched Phas’s dress. He shot her a text, which simply read “pic of the dress? Gotta get a tie”. 

She replied in about 2 minutes with a picture of a floor length simple black, gray, and silver dress. Embellished with intricate beading and metal avant garde trim, with a high side slit that was barely visible in the picture. He sent her another text, “u think that gray would b good?”

 

Phasma sent him a thumbs up and he locked his phone and put it away. Then he opened his laptop so that he could watch some videos on how to do some more complex dances than he was used to. This time it was a big deal, usually he just got away with standing around. This time he had to make himself “heterosexual” looking enough to convince his parents that he wouldn’t get up to too much in college. 

 

His confidence that Ben wasn’t coming back wasn’t strong enough to will him away for the entire night, actually Ben came back to the dorm around an hour after Armitage had started dancing. He didn’t notice someone come in at first. The playlist was an 80s themed one off of 8tracks.  _ Rock you like a hurricane _ was playing and Armitage was jamming in the middle of the room, until he turned around and saw the awkward brunet standing there. Mouth in a smirk and arms crossed. Armitage froze, it was bad enough he had actually been listening to music by himself, to have an audience even for as brief as Ben had been standing there was too much. 

 

He nearly broke his swivel chair vaulting across the room to turn off the music, which he did by slamming his laptop shut. The red travelled from the tips of his ears down past his collar. Ben stepped entirely into the room and closed the door, taking off his jacket and putting it and his bag on the bed as he sat down. Seemingly not going to mention anything he just saw. Hux was still paralyzed sitting rigid in his chair and waiting for some kind of comment from Ben.

 

It came a little after Hux had relaxed enough to start picking up his part of the room. Then Ben chimed in. 

 

“So, you like The Scorpions?” the blush was back with no warning for the poor ginger and it didn’t seem like it was going to subside if Ben kept this conversation going.

 

“It was a playlist,” he blurted it out without thinking.  _ fuck  _ he thought,  _ now I have to talk to him, _

 

“Ohhh so it was a playlist,” he looked at Armitage with the most shit-eating grin ever, “You know, if you weren’t so anal, I would have thought you might have been enjoying yourself,” he snickered and went back to typing.

 

Hux was nearly fuming, he got up and started pacing trying to get out some of his nervous energy. If Ben noticed he didn’t say anything for awhile, it was hard trying to talk nice with the idiot who had nearly ruined his high school reputation. This was one of the best private schools in the state. 

**Author's Note:**

> It ends abruptly because I haven't worked on it in months and I forgot where I was going with it


End file.
